International Surrogacy: What to Expect

Our son Spencer was born through international gestational surrogacy in Utah, USA. I remember when we first started surrogacy, I found it overwhelming. I had never met a surrogate or anyone who had had a baby through surrogacy. But in the end, we found surrogacy to be an amazing and life changing experience.

Surrogacy can feel overwhelming at first but if you’re thinking about surrogacy, at Wish for a Baby Brussels, you will find out everything you need to know. You’ll also have the opportunity to talk to experts from surrogacy agencies, legal firms, IVF clinics and more. There are some fantastic presentations across the weekend including ‘Surrogacy in different countries’, ‘Five factors to consider when selecting an egg donor and surrogate’, ‘Surrogacy legislation’, ‘Budgeting for surrogacy’, and ‘What emotional support you need during the surrogacy process’…Just to name a few! There will also be panel sessions on both days where you’ll get to hear from parents about their surrogacy journey and ask any questions you have.

Below are the key steps involved with international surrogacy. And at Wish for a Baby Brussels, there will be loads of specialists who can provide you with more detail about each of these steps.

Step 1 - Choosing an agency

There are plenty of surrogacy agencies you can talk to. We skyped with six agencies in the USA and all six were great. We ended up choosing a boutique agency, Rocky Mountain Surrogacy, as we had an instant repour with the owner and we loved how hands-on she was. An agency matches you with a surrogate; recommends IVF clinics and lawyers; provides a cost estimate; and guides you through the entire process.

Step 2 – The match

The agency emailed us two profiles immediately. Surrogates go through a rigorous screening process, so you feel confident from the start. We skyped with one of the surrogates, Leigha, and we had an instant connection. This is so important. You must be able to trust this person 100%.

Step 3 – The legal process

We then met with a lawyer who specialised in fertility law. Having a lawyer is not essential but I strongly recommend it, especially if you’re doing international surrogacy. Our lawyer helped us with the contract; managing our funds through an escrow account; the pre-birth order; and citizenship for the USA. With the pre-birth order, in the USA, you can sign it before your baby is born to be legally recognised as the parents.

Step 4 – Counselling

Surrogacy is such an emotional experience and it’s a big commitment. Our mandatory counselling session proved invaluable as we talked through what to expect, our hopes, fears…. anything and everything that was on our minds.

Constance Rapson, Utah Fertility Center, will be speaking on Day 1 of the conference about mental health during fertility treatments and how to navigate this process.

Step 5 – The IVF clinic

We transported our embryos from Australia, but we needed a clinic for the IVF transfer. Our surrogacy agency organised an introduction with the Utah Fertility Center and within a week, we met Dr Russell Foulk and started the process.

Step 6 – The screening process

Blood tests, blood tests, blood tests! It’s basically all the same screening tests you do for an IVF cycle, such as checking for infectious diseases.

Step 7 – IVF transfer

Only three months after we were matched, we did our first transfer. It sadly failed but for our second cycle, we did an Endometrial Receptivity Analysis (ERA) test, changed our transfer time (as Leigha was pre-receptive) and we fell pregnant. We heartbreakingly lost our baby around nine weeks due to a Sub-Chronic haematoma. But our next transfer was a success and nine months later, our rainbow baby was born.

Step 8 – Pregnancy

1. Leigha was pregnant, we skyped in for all the scans and appointments. We were in contact nearly every day. We built a strong and beautiful relationship. Everyone is different though so it’s best to openly discuss what kind of relationship you want before you start.

Step 9 – The birth

We had adjoining rooms at the hospital, and we were all in the delivery room for the birth. When Spencer was born, my husband cut the cord and then we had skin on skin contact. As you can imagine, there were floods of tears.

Step 10 – Coming home

Three weeks after Spencer was born, we flew home to Australia. With the help of our lawyer, we organised a USA passport and citizenship. Once home, we worked with our Australian lawyer to get Spencer’s Australian citizenship and passport. Everything went very smoothly.

This is a snapshot of my personal surrogacy experience but if you want to know more, you can follow me on Instagram @straight.up.infertility. I also share our full IVF and surrogacy story in my book This is Infertility.